"Ex-Pi Kappa Alpha member, 2010’s era. 

I noticed our lack of POC members immediately, save for one non-active but present brother, and that always stuck out to me. But it’s Georgia. I remember telling myself, “at least it’s not the KA house, with their Confederate flag on the main floor wall.” I remember washing the truth away, temporarily. At least they were fine with my best friend (a POC) hanging out, playing music. Until one parents weekend, that is, when our then President informed me that if my friend wanted to come over that weekend, I would have to let him up through the back door and snuck up the side stairwell. “No parents can see him, I know dude I know. Fucked up, right? You know how it is.” 

I remember being so taken aback that I didn’t even answer him, choosing instead to walk back to my room and smoke a cigarette(s) out the window. I did as they asked. My friend, if suspicious of the new system, did me a courtesy I didn’t deserve by not confronting me on it. 

I did not sleep well that week, needless to say. 

I came clean to my brother, my REAL brother, what I’d been instructed to do that previous weekend. His lack of surprise was the most deafening silence I’d experienced to that day. 

 

It’s a silent beast, systemic racism. The guys were all about using the n-word with the hard ‘r’ in a white-washed frat party, seemingly all in jest, with the right angle of avoidance. But when  [ex- UGA Football Player who is a Black man] came through, it was all warm welcomes and how ya doin my guy. The two faced tango was a magic trick, a hypnosis of normalcy so strong that you barely notice the whiplash. 

 

I left the chapter. I left the lifestyle. I’ve been trying to forgive my negligence, or worse- willful ignorance, ever since."